Dharthi Raj
By Vikram Rajan
While George W. Bush would be happy if he found the one-eyed Jack he was looking for, we at Cosa Nostra have found a startling resemblance in someone everyone at SRMEC comes across everyday. So Dubya, if you’re reading this, (In fact anyone who has near about his stratospheric IQ will do too) you know where to send the Shined-Shoes-with-Earpiece-Boys. This man, our John Doe (We’ll refer to him this way- Hi, Kevin Spacey), epitomizes a vigilante. Everyone in his panoramic scope of surveillance looks hazy and blurred, kind of like Arnie in T1 after his eye got busted, but hey, Doe has got his eye busted also. The right eye has nothing left in it and the left eye doesn’t work too right either.
Let’s cut to the chase and present to you, the action hero of this incredibly slick thriller, Mr. Marutha Muthu (I believe I’ve got his name right). If that’s really his name, which I got from a one second glance in his water/snot soaked id card, too scared to continue looking lest I was petrified, it also ties in with our Gen-y symbol EMINEM (or Marshall Mathers). This man, for those of you who have been living under a primeval stalagmite, is in charge of our security. As one of our senior most law-enforcers, a title he’s bound to have got solely by stupendous chronological precedence, he sits all day in his blow-plast chair staring (yes staring) at the main block. I do not mean to take any credit from the skilled artisans who sculpted this monument, but hey, most human attention and interest spans are of the order of 5 minutes and Doe has been at it for most part of the last two decades.
Now it has to come through, the inevitable question I was beating around for- Why in God’s name does everyone employ geriatrics for a security job? If someone were too defile the campus or run over someone (undoubtedly preoccupied with the boom-boom bass music systems ) I wonder if Doe’ll jump into the John and come out looking like superman albeit with the a patchwork-S symbol. I must however mention that his PR skills are second to none and his charm of the yesteryears hasn’t left him. A darling of the sweeper-women he seems to have a bevy of them all seeking his priceless eye-time (considerably halved .Please to be excuse!!).
It isn’t everywhere that we come across a charming personality like him, clearing his sinuses wherever he pleases and ambling across, very obviously not where he is paid to be. His routine walks to the steam lab in our dept. every morning has to conceal some hidden agenda but he’s successfully eluded our crack team of recon-experts, undoubtedly a sign of the rigorous martial training he would’ve got in the Crimean War or the 100 years war (He was there!)
I should not be derisive against him, he did save my life from falling concrete dust in the canteen once. I think I was blocking half of his useful vision; he just pushed me aside and I was saved from a speck that threatened to maim me. Alright, there was a lot of miniscule dust, but this gave me a chance to read his ID-tag. A man that understands the Singaporeans and is able to conduct long talks with them, a crime-fighter who can only see half the perceptible world, in truth a truant whom death spared the misery-My hero.
posted by Arvind Saba @ 9:13 PM
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